it was a wednesday

5yrs ago today when i woke up thinking my water had broken. it was just after 6am, i was 32weeks and 3 days pregnant. i wasn't scared-i knew that the local hospital could handle a preemie as early as 32weeks. i got out of bed thinking i would brush my teeth than call Jim(he was working 3 hours south in Seattle) than my parents.

i felt a trickle run down my leg. i grabbed a pillow and wiped my leg and to my horror, it was blood. immediately i went back to bed, laid down on my left side(something to do with laying on your left side helps baby) and called Jim. he told me to call 911 and that he was on his way home.

instead of calling right away, i figured i had to get ahold of my parents. i called and called and called. i even called one of their neighbours(thank goodness i have a memory with phone numbers!) and nothing.

i called 911 around 6:30. they were sending a police officer with the ambulance to stay with A,J and B. i could feel babe moving, i knew it(we didn't know what we were having) was going to be okay. i decided i needed to risk getting downstairs(we had a deadbolt on the door the police wouldn't have gotten through without some difficulty lol), i crawled out of bed and across the room into A's room to wake him up. i figured i needed one of the boys awake before the ambulance and the police came.

i crawled downstairs with A, had him get my purse and unlock the front door. meanwhile i am still dialing my parents with no answer.

just after 7, i called a friend. it wasn't until i spoke with her that i realized just what was going on. she agreed to come over until my mom got there.

the ambulance and police arrived around 7:10. checked me all out, babe was registering fine. we were just about to leave when my friend got there.

i was rushed into our local hospital. once there, i was hooked up to monitors and giving various shots(steroids to help babes lungs, a blood clotter and something to stop my contractions). the nurses asked me the name of my OB, the looks on their faces when i said i didn't have one said it all.

mom arrived around 8:30, Jim just a few minutes later(still amazed that he never got pulled over for speeding!) my dr wandered in around 9:30. he asked if the nurses had called my OB. i informed my dr that he hadn't assigned me to one(i was diagnosed with placenta previa in January during a routine ultra sound. my dr said at the time that the previa wasn't a concern and that the placenta would move out of the way before i went into labor) dr literally went white and ran from the room.

after that, it was a waiting game. i was stable, babe was stable. mom, Jim and myself were all under the impression that i would be having babe in the very near future. in fact, when i left for the hospital, i had told A,J and B that we would be having the baby before i came home.

just after lunch, there was a flurry of activity. a woman was brought in at 30weeks pregnant and in full labour. i was getting bumped. the nurses informed me that i was being sent to another hospital 45minutes away. i had had my ultrasound, baby looked good, they said there was no time to waste.

the transfer ambulance got there within 15minutes. i was getting loaded when one of the attendants asked Jim if he was following. the driver said not to, that we would be under full lights and sirens and off we went. we made the drive in 16minutes.

i was brought into a labour room and hooked back up to the machines. Jim arrived a little while later. nurses said that i was being assigned an OB and they would be in later that day to talk to me.

it wasn't until after dinner(i was allowed nothing to eat all day) that the OB arrived and we were shocked into reality. i was not having our baby. i was being placed on bedrest at the hospital until babes lungs were mature enough to be delivered(they scheduled me for an amino May 13th at 10am) or i hemorrhaged badly enough to have to deliver immediately. end of story.

over the next few weeks, i was brought into the preemie ward once a week and shown a baby that had been born at where i was in my pregnancy. given a list of what would be wrong at that time and brought back to my room. i was sent to BC Women's Hospital to meet with a hematologist. turns out i have a very rare antibody in my blood. every 72hours(3 days) blood was being thawed for me in case i hemorrhaged. if it wasn't needed, the blood was then disposed of). my OB was hoping i could donate enough of my own blood just in case. it wasn't possible. i was allowed out for dinner once with Jim. i had to go in a wheelchair. it exhausted me so much we didn't try it again.

i was allowed to shower every second day and was timed. i was allowed out of bed once/day to walk to the door of my room and back(i was sharing a room with one other patient). i had a blood test every day to check my blood levels; if it got too low, they would operate immediately. my arms were covered with bruises. my veins started collapsing and before each test, the nurses would wrap my arms in hot towels to expand the veins. it was agonizing to be on the maternity floor and see mommies being brought in with their newborns while i waited for D day.

it still amazes me at who came to see me. Jim came almost every day(his work was amazing. he travels, work went above and beyond in their support of us) he brought the boys once or twice a week. it was exhausting for me and confusing for them. my parents came a few times a week. i really discovered who my friends were in who visited, sent cards/letters. my extended family came within the first 3 days of being admitted, i didn't see them there again.

about 2 weeks into my *stay*, it was a Thursday night, survivor was just about to start. the nurse came to do my evening check(temp, blood pressure, quick listen to babe) i should mention, in the first few days we were given the choice of finding out what we were having. we decided to know just in case the worse happened. i jokingly said to her that i was going to have M that night. she asked if everything was okay. i told her that when i was rushed in, i saw a rainbow from the ambulance window *following* the ambulance. there was a rainbow across the sky that night. she laughed and told me to have a good night.

wouldn't you know, a few hours later i woke up bleeding. quick call to Jim, i was raced to the labour floor. given another steroid shot and told the bleed wasn't bad enough for me to deliver. this happened 2 more times, the third time i didn't even bother calling Jim, i knew nothing was going to happen. it became completely routine for me to have a shower and be bleeding, to go to the bathroom and be bleeding. the one thing you are told to panic with while pregnant was becoming completely ordinary to me


that is all i'm going to write on this story now. will finish up on M's birthday