hard day today

went down to visit Jim's grandparents. they have always from the first day i met them, treated me like i was one of *theirs* and in my heart, they are truly my grandparents as well.

last winter, grandma was diagnosed with alzheimers. the disease hit her fairly quick. we last saw her in the fall and were quite surprised with how worse she has gotten since than.

she did know who we were but she isn't grandma anymore. i left the house in tears to come home; even Jim was teary.

Jim and i have spoken in the past about the boys and grandma and made the decision today that this is the last time that B and M will probably see her. they are too young to remember grandma as grandma, i don't want them having memories of her like this and worse as they get older. i still have memories of going to see my great-grandma when i was roughly 6/7 and her screaming at me that she was a good girl and calling me mommy. completely freaked me right out.

i hate this disease. grandma survived two battles with breast cancer and this horrible disgusting disease is doing her in

3 comments:

Crunchy Carpets said...

It is a horrible horrible thing....

Hugs to you....

Nancy said...

Big Hug...

Barb said...

How sad... my friend just lost her mom, and she'd been going downhill with Alzheimers too. :(

(((hugs))) to you, my friend.

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